This is the birth story of my third child, Lainey, who was
born at home at 39 weeks. But the story doesn’t just start with her birth. To
most accurately share what I went through to give birth at home to a full-term
baby, after my first truly healthy pregnancy, I must also share the stories
of her older sister & brother’s pregnancies. If it’s only the birth story
you’re interested in, I have separated the stories into two parts – the birth
story is Part 2.
Part 1: The Back Story
Our family was first blessed with a baby when our daughter
Maia made her arrival on March 18th, 2008. I was a young first-time
mom, trying my best to give her a wonderful entrance into the world. I was
drawn to natural birth and sought that at a local hospital with a team of midwives.
I found myself buying to the idea that I should be “eating for two” and
consistently indulged my cravings. I didn’t know much about nutrition then and
didn’t keep track of what I ate, mostly just choosing to indulge my whims. I
didn’t exercise, either – I didn’t care for it. So when I found myself experiencing
swelling at 33 weeks, I never thought anything of it. At 36 weeks I had a high
blood pressure reading and some protein in my urine – perhaps the start of
pre-eclampsia. At our 37 week appointment, the protein had risen as well as my
blood pressure. Since I was making some
progress dilating on my own, the midwives said that an induction was favorable
before the pre-e got worse. Delivery is typically the only cure for
pre-eclampsia. I was thrilled – I’d get to meet my baby soon! I happily arrived
at the hospital to start the induction, still positive about having an
otherwise natural birth. And luckily, I got just that. Maia’s birth, despite
being started artificially with Pitocin, was otherwise intervention-free and
lovely. She was born into her daddy’s hands, and when she was delivered, I was
deemed “healthy” again. Pre-eclampsia was no longer a worry to me.
I’d heard that moms
typically get pre-e once and not again, so I paid it no more attention. I
didn’t do any research on it when I became pregnant with my second child in
2009. When I became pregnant with him, we were weeks away from our wedding, and
eating well and sleeping well were hard to come by. Post- wedding, I continued
to eat what I wanted with little regard to my health – I drank a daily pop, ate
carbs upon carbs, and despite still nursing my toddler, didn’t keep track of
calories or protein intake. I was naively and blindly inviting pre-eclampsia to
strike me again, and did it ever. At my 28 week appointment, I had a blood
pressure reading of 140/80. The midwives had me do a 24 hour urine test to see
if there was protein in my urine - there was. I was then sent to a hospital
with a diagnosis of pre-eclampsia at 28.5 weeks, which risked me out of the
midwives group and bumped me to their back up OB’s. I spent a weekend being
monitored and researching preemies in a daze. I couldn’t really believe this
was happening to me. I was then allowed to go home on bedrest after receiving
steroid shots, in case baby had to come early. Bedrest lasted approximately 2
days, until I woke up in the middle of the night with extreme, intense pain
under my left rib that made it very hard to breathe. I headed into the
hospital, and was given a diagnosis of HELLP syndrome & pre-eclampsia. Now
my liver and kidneys were being affected as well, and baby had to be delivered
ASAP. At noon on March 16th,
2010, my induction was started with Cervadil, which ripened the cervix. Around
7pm, a Pitocin drip was started. My body knew it was very sick, because the
induction was successful. At 1 AM on March 17th, 2010, my 2lb 10 oz
baby boy Kieran was born. He was 29.5 weeks gestation…and our lives were turned
upside down. The ensuing 7 weeks in the NICU were an emotional rollercoaster
for our family. Kieran faced quite a few challenges, but he made it out healthy
& virtually unscathed. My husband and I, however, were quite affected by
the experience of having a preemie. I remember staying up late one night
shortly after Kieran was born, voraciously researching and reading up on what
had happened to me. What was HELLP, and why did I get it & pre-eclampsia
again? Could it have been prevented? At 24 years old, I had had pre-eclampsia
twice – it was finally obvious to me that my body had given me a huge wake-up
call and it was time to change things. The emotional toll Kieran’s early birth
had on me was significant. When he was 14 months old, I sought therapy to help
me work out some of the trauma I’d experienced and address some PTSD symptoms.
We also addressed the fact that I desperately wanted one more baby. I wanted to
try, for once, to have a pre-eclampsia-free pregnancy, but my husband was not
on board. We’d originally planned on having three kids, but the experience of
seeing his wife so sick, and having a baby so early was enough to put him off.
The therapy definitely got Josh and I talking, and one day in May 2011, he told
me that he had a feeling we were supposed to have one more; that I was supposed
to try for the pre-eclampsia free pregnancy I’d never had. He saw me working
hard on exercising and changing my nutrition habits, and saw that I was doing
my research, and that calmed his fears a little. I started preemptively calling
homebirth midwives to interview them, so that whenever I did get pregnant, I’d
be ready to start prenatal care with the one who felt right. I was going to
need a lot of support with my nutrition, so I wanted to start seeing someone
right away.
My fertility returned shortly after we decided to try for one
more – though it may not have been our intention to get pregnant right away, that’s what happened!
Suddenly, more fears arose – now that we were actually pregnant, there were a
lot of unknowns. We were going to have to take this pregnancy day by day, week
by week. I met with a homebirth midwife I had connected with a few months
earlier for a consultation. In the consultation, she shared with me a few
stories of women who had had pre-eclampsia before coming to her, and then went
on to have pre-eclampsia-free homebirths with her. Those success stories were
just what I needed to hear - there aren’t many out there. I was now confident and
excited that this midwife could help me, so we hired her!
When it came time to
share my pregnancy news, I was extremely nervous about telling my family. After
all, they had been worried sick about Kieran and I when he was born early – I knew
they’d be worried about me again. I chose to inform my family members of our
plans to receive prenatal care from a homebirth midwife. I didn’t want to hide
anything from them, so I started a blog to keep them updated and informed about
my research, plans & progress. I remember my mom being the most vocal about
her worries. She questioned why I wouldn’t go to a doctor, and I informed her that
in my experience, doctors know only how to treat
pre-eclampsia, not how to prevent it.
The natural birth community has a much better sense of how to prevent
pre-eclampsia and other pregnancy complications, so I knew it was my best
chance at a healthy, term pregnancy.
So day after day, I worked on that goal of a healthy
pregnancy. I ate a high protein diet of 150g protein in the first trimester,
and 125g daily after that. I started drinking an herbal infusion with skullcap,
nettle, dandelion root and red raspberry leaf, herbs known for their positive
benefits in pregnancy. I tested my blood levels for various deficiencies linked
to pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome and made sure I was not deficient in those
vitamins and minerals. It got to be quite tiresome, making sure I had my daily
protein smoothie and keeping track of protein intake, plus the daily infusion
and the host of vitamins I took every night. But it paid off. I felt wonderful
the whole pregnancy – vibrant, healthy, and positive about all my hard
work. I indulged in nightly baths to
relax and practiced doing my Hypnobirthing relaxation when I took my daily nap.
I feel that for once, I finally took amazing care of my whole self. Every month
I’d have great blood pressure, no protein in my urine…suddenly the weeks were
flying by and I was meeting my personal pregnancy goals – 29 weeks, then 35
weeks, then term! Our dream for a homebirth was so close to a reality now! Friends
and family shared in our joy as I posted updates about my health on Facebook.
It felt amazing to have so many people cheering me on and keeping me in their thoughts.
At 38 and 39 weeks, the most pregnant I had ever been, my blood pressure was
actually going down and there was nary a trace of protein. I almost couldn’t
believe it. I thought maybe I’d get to term and pre-e would show up again, but
instead I was still completely healthy and my blood pressure got the lowest it
had ever been at 39 weeks.
Part 2: The Birth Story
On Thursday, March 29th, Josh and I went to my 39
week appointment with my midwife. The whole pregnancy I had been convinced I’d
have another March baby (my first two are March babies – though neither were
due in March!) and at some point in the third trimester I kept seeing “39
weeks”, meaning the last week of March or beginning of April. But we were
nearing April now and I was excited to possibly hit a due date for the first
time, and completely content to be pregnant a few more weeks. After the
appointment, I lost a large part of my mucus plug, which is a sign that things
were moving along nicely. That night, Josh and I decided to see if we could
kick-start labor with sex – hey, it’s a tried & true method! Usually when
we were intimate before bed, the surges (Hypnobirthing-speak for contractions)
would stop when I went to sleep, but these kept up - through the night I awoke
to few strong surges, as well as an annoying cat that would not leave me alone.
The surges were still strong in the morning as I tried to get ready for work
and get my kids off to daycare. I moved slowly that morning, partly because the
surges were pretty frequent, and partly because my kids were a whiny, clingy
mess that day – not their typical behavior. I called my dad (my boss) to let
him know I’d be coming in just a few hours, because I was exhausted after the
night and morning. When I dropped my kids off at daycare, the clinginess
continued and they both wailed for me and wouldn’t let me go – again, this was
uncharacteristic of them as they both do very well with daycare drop-off. I called
my husband to vent about the morning, and he remarked that maybe they could
sense the baby was coming soon.
I got to work and my dad ran through a list of tasks for me
before he headed out of the office. I was working at my desk just a half hour
before I suddenly felt warm liquid between my legs. I waddled out of my office
with wet pants, past the front desk to a nearby bathroom and sure enough, my
water had broken - confirmation of the conversation Josh and I had just had about the kids intuitively knowing, ha! I stuffed my underwear with some paper towels in case more
came out and went back to my desk to do a silent dance of joy. For the first
time, things were starting spontaneously!
I called my husband and our midwife, Nickie, to tell them things had
started, and went to meet my husband at home. Once home, my bag of waters
continued to leak , and after putting down a bunch of towels and going through
far too many pads and underwear, I asked Josh if he could pick up some Depends
for me at my midwife’s suggestion. It certainly would make things easier! We
straightened up the house a little, had some lasagna for lunch and then Josh
started preparing the birth tub. We decided we would blow it up and just add
water when things started to pick up. At this point, surges were not picking up
and were about 7-10 minutes apart and barely noticeable – they felt just like
the Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) I’d been having for weeks – so Josh
decided to grab the Depends from Target and run another errand while I listened
to my Hypnobirthing CD and took a nap. When I woke up, Josh still wasn’t home.
He was just on his way to Target after running his other errands and would be
home soon. It was about 3:30 now, and I was eager for him to get home so we
could try to get things moving. He called me from the Target parking lot shortly
after that, though, with some interesting news: he had locked his keys in the
car! I suggested he call the police non-emergency line to see if someone would
be sympathetic to the man trying to get home to his laboring wife, and sure
enough, they offered to come out….except no one ever showed up. He waited
nearly an hour, and finally he just decided coordinate a ride home with our
friend who was picking up our kids from daycare. When our friend `arrived
home with the kids, Josh headed back out to Target to meet a locksmith and I worked
on preparing our son to go stay the night with his aunt. It was about 6pm by
the time Kieran headed out for the night. Our four year old daughter had opted
to stay home – she wanted to watch the birth, so we had prepped her for months
with stories and videos of home waterbirths. But once her brother left, she
flipped out. She started crying and begging to leave, so we called my grandma
to see if she could get her – no answer. Luckily, my mom, who is very rarely
free, was able to take her for the night, but wouldn’t be able to pick her up
until 8pm. We put a movie in for Maia while I called and texted my midwife, the
birth photographer and best friend to update them on my progress, or lack
thereof. Things still hadn’t picked up, and I started running a bath simply
because I was bored and needed to keep busy. Finally, it was 8pm and Maia left
excitedly for a sleepover at my mom’s. We said our goodbyes and Josh went to my
mom’s car to put her carseat in. I took that long-awaited moment of silence to
sit on the birth ball and talk to my baby. “Everything is calm now, baby. Mommy
and daddy are ready for you, and you can come out whenever you’re ready.”
With the kids out of the house, I told Josh I’d like to go
on a walk to see if we could get surges to pick up, but first I had to go to
the bathroom. But once I got to the toilet, I couldn’t get back up – I had two
very strong, back-to-back surges. I started getting extremely hot, and then
Josh came into the bathroom to ask me a question, but I couldn’t answer him
coherently. He said, “uh…honey? We’re not going on a walk. We’re calling the
midwives.” I was definitely in transition – moving from early labor to active
labor. It was about 8:15.
I stayed on the toilet because the surges were pretty
consistent. Josh called our birth team and told them to come over, and then he
started filling the birth tub while I breathed through the surges and swayed
and moaned. In my previous labors I used Hypnobirthing techniques to “go inside
myself” and stay relaxed, and this one was no different. In a short break from
surges, I decided to get up from the toilet and put on my Hypnobirthing CD in
the living room. On the way to the living room, I got a slight urge to push,
then another intense surge. I kneeled on the ground, hunched over the couch
clinging to a pillow and shortly after my move to the couch, I heard my
midwife’s assistant arrive. She came over to chat with me and check my
progress, but things were moving quickly and it was hard to answer her, so Josh
helped answer for me while he rubbed my back and held my water cup for me to
drink from. I started feeling “pushy” again. I asked if I could get in the tub,
but the water was filling up so slowly that it wasn’t ready yet. I started
moaning a bit louder because the urge to push was coming frequently, and I
could feel the baby descending. I moaned “I want to get in the tub!” but with
baby definitely in the birth canal and the tub not even halfway full of water,
that wasn’t an option. My midwife arrived and then I remember things getting
even more intense. This was definitely NOT what I had imagined things would be
like! Even in my other two births the pushing stage was nothing like this. I
felt like this baby was just sitting there and that really HURT! Then Josh told
me they could see the baby’s head, and while the surges were intense, I only
pushed when I felt the urge to. But a minute or two after baby’s head started
to be visible, my midwife urged me to try a different position with my legs.
She said, “Brittany, I need to help the baby out and you need to push. This is
probably going to hurt a little.” I said “but I don’t feel like pushing!” It’s
hard to push when you don’t feel the urge. “You HAVE to,” she said. So I tried
breathing baby down while bearing down, and then I let out a huge, primal roar
as my midwife manually helped turn the baby. Finally, baby was able to slide
out, caught by my midwife. She went to hand her to me through my legs to bring
up to my chest, but I couldn’t grab her.
“I can’t….put her down,” I said. She was gently placed on the pad below
me, and I took that moment to recover, to breathe, and to revel in the
intensity of the last few minutes of her birth, which completely took me by
surprise. Finally, I was ready to look at her, this beautiful pink little thing
writhing below me, crying out. We saw it was a girl, and I managed to happily
sigh “sisters…,” because my daughter now had the sister she so desperately
wanted. And then, I was ready to pick her up. I brought her up to my chest and
Josh sat behind me, easing me back so I could relax into him. It was 9:18 pm when she was born - just about an hour since we had called our midwives and just over an hour since I'd sat on the birth ball and told her we were ready for her to come out when she wanted. Our birth
photographer walked in right then – she had missed the birth by just a few
minutes. She still managed to capture some amazing postpartum photos.
As I waited to birth the placenta, we were all chatting about the birth and my midwife mentioned that we had encountered mild shoulder dystocia. Ah, so that’s why I felt her sitting in the birth canal and not moving! When she came down so quickly, her shoulder got hooked on my pelvic bone, and while her head was out, she started to get a bit more purple by the minute (I have some pictures to prove it!) Her head was out about 3 or 4 minutes before Nickie helped manually unhook her shoulder. Her speedy trip down the birth canal combined with the shoulder dystocia made for quite the experience! But while I was disappointed I didn’t get my waterbirth, I was overjoyed to have given birth in the comfort of my own home. From beginning to end, there is nothing like it. And the sense of accomplishment that comes from overcoming pre-eclampsia? There’s nothing like that, either. The joy of a beautiful, healthy, term baby in my arms, on top of the overwhelming satisfaction in myself and my long journey to get to that point kept me on a hormonal high for weeks! I could not have asked for anything more – we truly got everything we’d hoped for.
As I waited to birth the placenta, we were all chatting about the birth and my midwife mentioned that we had encountered mild shoulder dystocia. Ah, so that’s why I felt her sitting in the birth canal and not moving! When she came down so quickly, her shoulder got hooked on my pelvic bone, and while her head was out, she started to get a bit more purple by the minute (I have some pictures to prove it!) Her head was out about 3 or 4 minutes before Nickie helped manually unhook her shoulder. Her speedy trip down the birth canal combined with the shoulder dystocia made for quite the experience! But while I was disappointed I didn’t get my waterbirth, I was overjoyed to have given birth in the comfort of my own home. From beginning to end, there is nothing like it. And the sense of accomplishment that comes from overcoming pre-eclampsia? There’s nothing like that, either. The joy of a beautiful, healthy, term baby in my arms, on top of the overwhelming satisfaction in myself and my long journey to get to that point kept me on a hormonal high for weeks! I could not have asked for anything more – we truly got everything we’d hoped for.
A special thanks goes out to my midwife, Nickie and her
assistant Janine, for believing that I could have a healthy pregnancy and
supporting me to that goal every step of the way. Because of their care, I had a truly healing & inspiring experience that has left an enormous imprint on our family. To my friends, family &
community for cheering me on, however nervous they might have been through it
all – your support and belief in me was essential to my morale. And most of all, a
HUGE thank you to my amazing husband Josh for trusting me, sharing in the fears
and excitement with me on this journey, and taking amazing care of me – I love you and
I could never have had such a beautiful pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience
without you!